Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. His wife was standing nearby watching him. "Doctor: "Yeah well that's the exit. "He replied, "Neither do I. The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast.". And today Im taking them to the beach. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself. ", One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? There was this one time that I held one for a moment" ", I was in the library once when a man walked in asking for some ham and cheese. "About 35,"he replied. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes. The doctor listened to his problems and told him that he should really visit a therapist instead of a doctor. Is there anybody up there?" the girl smiled. The barber finished giving the haircut but there was no sign of the father. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet. document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', function() { ", My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. "The line in front of the Kremlin is twice as long as this one", A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. The mosquito said that he had a lot of problems. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight!". He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing.I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. To get flowers for her, he had to stand in a line outside the florist for an hour. "Tim gets this horrified look on his face.She says, "Darling, what's wrong? He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse? Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! "The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you. }); What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied, "Mind Your Own Business!" 1. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem. "The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much." let's make love today * On the floor! As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?". A year later, theres another knock at the door. They let him in. Seven Inches I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. As Sandy put her hands in Jims pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! - Well, to feel something hard! Welcome to Daily Adult Jokes channel In this channel, I tried to give you more understanding and enjoyment of telling a joke by voicing and making a video to better express the jokes. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyone's face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. I love you too! So, the wife and I were in town shopping And as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. he replies. //